"Rise in the presence of the aged, and show respect for the elderly."

Beloved Mother

Home > Dependent Adult Abuse > Beloved Mother

Personal Directive Disregarded

My mom was a person that should have never been given a capacity test. First, they are a tool and only a tool and sometimes too much is placed on it. We were never consulted as a family before it was given and her personal directive and power of attorney was not respected by the hospital. She shouldn’t even have ended up in hospital. I am from a very caring and respectful family. My mom was very sharp mentally, did her own banking, never missed a beat.

One September, she was out on the farm with me walking all day. When we got home she was very tired, we ate supper and suggested she get to bed early. She did, waking up at 10 pm with chest pain, pressed her medic alert, and I went over but so did the paramedics. They had in the meantime given her nitro and morphine with no relief. They insisted on taking her in to hospital against her wishes.

She was really tired. She was 84 living in her own home with all of us helping plus paid help. When I arrived at the hospital I found her leg ripped open 3” by 4” by one inch deep, a hospital induced injury caused by the claws on the stretcher belt when the staff moved her without care. She had to go to the operating room and couldn’t go home. She developed a massive DVT and bowel obstruction from constipation. After two weeks of acute care treatment, on IV’s, no food, pain, medications, sleep deprivation, high stress environment, English as a second language, they gave her a mental capacity test. The timing was completely inappropriate. They had too much power and needed the bed. We called a family meeting at the hospital. Her personal directive drawn up by a lawyer was useless.

We also knew the capacity test was useless. Sheila Weatherill took responsibility for the injury but mom ended up in a nursing home in diapers and never did walk again because of shortage of staff. She died very lucid, with a family who loved her but her heart was broken by what the assessors and doctor did to her. We had no say about her personal directive or enduring power of attorney because her document was not respected by the powers at be. It was so painful for all of us but mostly her because her wishes weren’t respected. I saw this happen so many times in my career but I never thought I would have to live through it personally.

-Distressed Daughter